We live in a democratic age. The democratisation process is moving steadily

along in nations transitioning from totalitarian and authoritarian rule all

over the world.

What Is Child Sexual Abuse?

Sexual abuse happens when an adult or older child uses a younger child

for sexual stimulation. The stimulation may take the form of sexual

fondling, handling of the genitals, attempted penetration, oral sex, or

intercourse. A father watching his teenage daughter undress and shower is

an example of hands-off sexual abuse. Eighty-five percent of sexual

assaults on children aare committed by someone the child knows and usually

trusts – an immediate family member, by a parent, step – parent, sibling or

other relative; or outside the home, for example, by a friend, neighbor,

child care person, teacher, or stranger. When sexual abuse has occurred, a

child can develop a variety of distressing feelings, thoughts and

behaviors. Most offenders are male. They come from all age, income, and

educational groups. Their approach is usually not violent, although it

often involves a threat or a bribe. The cchild might hear, „I won’t like you

anymore,“ or „I’ll give you .“ The abuser relies on the child’s

ignorance, helplessness, and a lack of a clear understanding that she is

being hurt. Too many sexually victimized children, especially boys, never

tell. Afraid that ssomeone will blame them, they keep the abuse a secret.

They fear rejection and punishment, or they think nobody will believe them.

A relationship of trust or intimidation with the abuser also may silence

the child. At first, child sexual abuse may be marginally inappropriate,

such as tickling or hugging to excess. During this initial contact,

children can learn to ask someone for help, but first they must know that

what is happening is wrong.

Sexual assault is any unwanted, forced, tricked or coerced sexual

activity. It includes verbal harassment, exposure, fondling and

penetration. It can happen between strangers, but more often, it occurs

between people who know each other. Survivors may require immediate crisis

counseling, emergency medical care and legal advocacy services. Often they

need psychological care and support which eextends well beyond the crisis

phase. Nightmares, flashbacks, difficulty concentrating, outburst of anger,

and depression are commonly experienced. It can also lead to eating

disorders, substance abuse and difficulties with interpersonal

relationships.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse of children is a harsh fact of life in our society. It is

more common than most people realize. Some surveys say at least 1 out of 5

adult women and 1 out of 10 adult men report having been sexually abused in

childhood. This might be fondling the child’s genitals; getting the child

to fondle an adult’s genitals; mouth to genital contact; rubbing an adult’s

genitals on the child; or actually penetrating the child’s vagina or anus.

Other forms of abuse can also occur that are not as easy to detect. These

include showing an adult’s genitals to a child, showing the child

pornographic or „dirty“ pictures or videotapes, or using the child as a

model to make pornographic materials. So there are various types of sexual

activity which may take place. It can include open mouth kissing, touching,

fondling, manipulation of the genitals, anus or breasts with fingers, lips,

tongue or with an object. It may include intercourse. Children may not have

been touched themselves but may have been forced to perform sexual acts on

an adult or older child. Sometimes children are forced or tricked into

disrobing for photography or are made to have sexual contact with other

children while adults watch. Child sexual abuse does not always involve

physical touching. It can include any experience or attitude imposed on a

child that gets in the way of the development of healthy sexual responses

or behaviors. For example, a child may be a victim of „emotional incest.“

If a mother tells her son, in great detail, about her sexual exploits, or

if a father promises his daughter tthat she will be his life partner when

she turns 18, these would be scenarios in which the child could be

considered sexually abused. Siblings who are aware of a brother or sister’s

victimization, but are not actually abused themselves, may also suffer many

of the same effects as an abused child.

How Often Does Child Sexual Abuse Occur?

Estimates are that approximately 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 8 boys

experience sexual abuse in some way before they are 18. Data on how many of

these children live in foster or adoptive homes are not available. Foster

care and adoption social workers are now saying they believe the

percentages of boys and girls in foster care who have been sexually abused

are much higher than in the general population, perhaps as high as 75%.

Many came into foster care initially because of sexual abuse and others are

children who were re-victimized while in foster care, either by an older

foster child or by an adult.

Rate of child abuse by race:

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It doesn’t have to happen. We can and must reduce these alarming

statistics. As we do, millions of people will be spared lifelong emotional

scars and painful relationship difficulties.

Why don’t we talk about sexual abuse with our children? Perhaps

we are uunaware of the problem or uncomfortable with the subject. We may

think our children are too young, or that the information will give them

the wrong idea. We usually want our youngsters to obey and trust their

relatives, teachers, baby sitters, doctors, and practically anyone older

than them. In our wish for our children to develop a trusting out-look and

respect for others, we ignore a dangerous fact: some people who look, act,

and sound trustworthy should not be trusted or obeyed.

Why Does It Happen?

The impact on children of sexual activity on television, video and

through the internet was still unknown, but now. Some children in all over

the world, however, also engage in commercial sex while living at home. The

majority of these children trade sex for money or for more expensive

clothes or other consumer goods. Other groups of commercially sexually

exploited children include girls in gangs, children brought into the

country illegally, and youths trafficked nationally and internationally as

part of organized sex crime rings. Boys are victimized as often as girls.

More children are being sexually abused via the internet, with some forced

to take part in live sex shows, the charity.

The sexual abuse of children, child pornography and paedophilia on the

Internet today are problems of international proportion.

Through satellite,

cable and the Internet, they touch all levels of society, they reach all

regions, they put at risk children who should be in school and studying to

contribute to their society. Most countries already have laws against

crimes of sexual abuse of children, child pornography and paedophilia. In

many cases, it is a matter of reinforcing these laws and supporting law

enforcement agencies.

Some children are even being „advertised“ online using indecent

photographs taken at home. New videophone technology could lead to even

more children being aabused. It also raised fears that thousands of children

photographed or filmed being abused would never be traced. The victims of

the abuse, which was often carried out by relatives and friends, may not be

traced because no single agency has the money or authority to find them.

The Cycle of Abuse Can Be Broken

We cannot protect our children by sheltering them from the truth. We

must teach them about the potential for sexual abuse, and prepare them to

react assertively to inappropriate touch and oother signs of danger. As a

society, we must refuse to tolerate the crime of child sexual abuse. In

addition, education and counseling are needed to promote healing for both

victims and abusers. The subtle, silent trauma of child sexual abuse can be

prevented.

What EEvery Child Should Know?

There is a difference between good, bad, and confusing touch. Know how

to tell the difference. Parents should know that pre-school children don’t

always understand the concepts of good touch or bad touch. Studies show

that young children can understand feelings connected with extreme

experiences such as being hit „bad“ versus being hugged „good.“ Young

children are often confused by situations that fall between the two

extremes. Most sexual abuse involves gentle fondling and is accompanied by

gentle and caring words. Very young children may have difficulty perceiving

this as „bad“ touch.

It is all right to say no. Trust your feelings of discomfort, no

matter who the person is. Say no to unwanted hugs, pats on your buttocks,

and touching that confuses or bothers you. Alternatives include running

away, removing the person’s hand, and yelling „stop.“

There are no secrets. It is wrong for someone to ask you not to

tell your parents. It is wrong to trap you into breaking a rule and then

threaten to tell if you don’t cooperate. It is not right for someone to

give you a gift and then expect something from you.

You should refuse a request if it feels weird; will separate you

from other children; goes against family rules; involves a ssecret; or seems

like an unearned special favor.

Child Power

We can teach children to protect themselves from sexual abuse by

explaining the dangers in a matter-of-fact way. Instill in them a sense of

their own power to say „No!“ or to leave or call for help when faced with a

threatening person or situation.

Never insist that a reluctant child kiss a relative or friend of the

family. This teaches the child that adults expect him to submit to unwanted

familiarity. The youngster who learns early to be selective about

friendships, touching, and other expressions of affection is prepared to

fend off unwanted attentions and invitations. Encourage children to value

privacy and personal space. They also should know they can talk to you

freely about their thoughts and feelings. Don’t stifle the child’s ability

to give and receive affection. And don’t instill an inappropriate mistrust

of adults. The younger the child, the more attention you must pay to this.

Teach children to trust their feelings and to let affection come naturally.

Parents can prevent or lessen the chance of sexual abuse by:

• Telling children that „if someone tries to touch your body and do

things that make you feel funny, say NO to that person and tell me

immediately“ .

• Teaching children that rrespect does not mean blind obedience to adults

and to authority, for example, don’t tell children to, „Always do

everything the teacher or baby-sitter tells you to do“

• Encouraging professional prevention programs in the local school

system.

• Do not permit to watch TV programmes for adults.

• Do not permit to talk to strange people.

What you can do .

Recognize your child’s right to say no to physical attention. Respect

that right, be alert to the child’s discomfort and intervene when

necessary. Even very small children should not have to endure hugging,

tossing, and patting they do not like. If they learn to ignore their

feelings because expressing them makes no difference, children lose a

valuable tool for protectingthemselves.

Notice when others harass or take advantage of your child.

Whether this is coming from adults or other children, your child needs to

know how to respond appropriately.

Take what your child says seriously. Be available. Help your

child figure out what to do in uncomfortable situations.

Express disapproval of inappropriate behavior in others. Do not

justify the behavior of teachers, ministers, or grandparents, for example,

just because of who they are. When you do, the child will not only distrust

them, but also may distrust you.

Refuse to leave cchildren with people you do not trust. Pay

attention to warning signs, including your own intuitive hunches about what

is a secure, safe environment. Abusers frequently are nice people from nice

families.

What if. . .?

If your child has already been assaulted, be glad that you know about

it. Many children grow to adulthood harboring their secret with no one to

comfort or protect them. Many have suffered years of sexual assault with no

one to stop it. You still have time to help your child heal and learn

protective skills for the future. Take the following steps:

1. Believe what you have heard.

2. Comfort the child. Explain that it was not his fault. The abuser is at

fault and needs help.

3. Let the child know you are sorry it happened. Reassure her that you

aren’t angry at her and that she hasn’t been bad.

4. Tell her you will make sure it doesn’t happen again. Children need to

feel protected.

5. Get counseling for the child, and maybe for the family.

Listen to your child’s explanation for disclosing the abuse. Make sure

you report the abuse and help your child to understand that the abuse is

not his or her fault. Give lots of love, comfort, and reassurance. If you

are angry, make sure

you let your child know you’re not angry with him. Let

your child know how brave he was to tell you and that you understand how

frightened and scared he feels. This is most important if the child has

been abused by a close relative or family friend. Then, tell someone

yourself and get help. Talk to your child’s pediatrician, a counselor, a

police officer, a child protective service worker, or a teacher.

Sexually abused children may develop the following:

• unusual interest in or avoidance oof all things of a sexual nature

• sleep problems or nightmares

• depression or withdrawal from friends or family

• seductiveness

• statements that their bodies are dirty or damaged, or fear that there

is something wrong with them in the genital area

• refusal to go to school

• delinquency/conduct problems

• secretiveness

• aspects of sexual molestation in drawings, games, fantasies

• unusual aggressiveness, or suicidal behavior

There is a myth that all children who have been sexually abused are

„damaged goods“ and that the damage is for life. In fact, with guidance and

support a child who has experienced sexual abuse can certainly recover and

go on to live a happy, successful life with loving and trusting

relationships. However, there aare many factors which influence the extent

of the child’s trauma and subsequent healing process.

Some children who have been sexually abused go on to abuse other

children. While this is a serious problem, the exact percentage of sexual

abuse victims who become abusers is not known. It is important to realize

that these children are victims as well as offenders and need to receive

counseling from qualified therapists who understand both aspects of the

problem. The therapist must be able to be empathic and understanding of the

„victim“ but confrontational with the „victimizer.“

Will Our Child and Family Need Professional Help?

It is very likely that at some time or other parents of a child who

was sexually abused will need professional help and support for themselves

and their cchild. The type of therapy that will be the most helpful, that

is, individual, couple or family therapy, will depend on a family’s

particular situation. When a child is being seen in individual therapy, it

is important that the parents, who have the primary responsibility for the

child, be in close contact with the therapist, or included in the therapy.

Try to choose a therapist who is knowledgeable about both sexual abuse and

adoption issues and with whom you feel comfortable. If parents are not

familiar with tthe therapy resources in their area, they may want to ask

their adoption agency or local mental health center for a referral. There

are also which may be helpful with referrals to therapists who are

knowledgeable about sexual abuse.

Support groups for adoptive parents or sexually abused children and

support groups for victims/survivors are another helpful resource. Adoptive

parents who have had a chance to talk with others who understand the

experience of parenting a sexually abused child say that this kind of

sharing is very useful. A psychologist in the field of sexual abuse, along

with many children and adult victims/survivors, say that groups for

children can be most effective in the healing process. The opportunity to

talk and share with other children who have also experienced sexual abuse

reduces a child’s sense of isolation and belief that he/she is the only one

to whom this has ever happened.

Some children who have been sexually abused have difficulty relating

to others except on sexual terms. Some sexually abused children become

child abusers or prostitutes, or have other serious problems when they

reach adulthood.

We must know that young victims may not recognize their victimization as

sexual abuse.

Excerpt from Sgroi’s book review: „Helping sexually abused children

depends on the combined efforts of law enforcement, medical, social

service, and pprosecution personnel. It is essential for those in each field

to recognize and understand the others’ responsibilities in dealing with

child sexual abuse. Only then can we learn how best to help each other to

help the victims and their families. As experience, research, and learning

advance. It becomes increasingly clear that the police officer – and indeed

the entire criminal justice system – are an integral part of identifying

the problem, protecting the victim, and remedying the situation.“

I think what the report highlights is that we’re simply not doing a

good enough job in this country taking care of our children. We have got to

pay closer attention to the problem including what is happening in our own

homes and neighborhoods with kids who we think we are taking good care of.

SUMMARY

Sexual abuse happens when an adult or older child uses a younger child

for sexual stimulation. Sexual assault is any unwanted, forced, tricked or

coerced sexual activity.

Sexual abuse of children is a harsh fact of life in our society. It is

more common than most people realize. Some surveys say at least 1 out of 5

adult women and 1 out of 10 adult men report having been sexually abused in

childhood.

Eighty-five percent of sexual assaults on cchildren are committed by

someone the child knows and usually trusts – an immediate family member, by

a parent, step – parent, sibling or other relative; or outside the home,

for example, by a friend, neighbor, child care person, teacher, or

stranger. This might be fondling the child’s genitals; getting the child to

fondle an adult’s genitals; mouth to genital contact; rubbing an adult’s

genitals on the child; or actually penetrating the child’s vagina or anus.

Other forms of abuse can also occur that are not as easy to detect. These

include showing an adult’s genitals to a child, showing the child

pornographic or „dirty“ pictures or videotapes, or using the child as a

model to make pornographic materials. So there are various types of sexual

activity which may take place. It can include open mouth kissing, touching,

fondling, manipulation of the genitals, anus or breasts with fingers, lips,

tongue or with an object. It may include intercourse. Children may not have

been touched themselves but may have been forced to perform sexual acts on

an adult or older child. Sometimes children are forced or tricked into

disrobing for photography or are made to have sexual contact with other

children while adults watch.

Survivors may require immediate crisis counseling, emergency medical

care and legal advocacy services. Often they

need psychological care and

support which extends well beyond the crisis phase. Nightmares, flashbacks,

difficulty concentrating, outburst of anger, and depression are commonly

experienced. It can also lead to eating disorders, substance abuse and

difficulties with interpersonal relationships.

So I think we must tried to notice, protect our children, because they

may not recognize their victimization as sexual abuses. It is very

important to pay attention in our and leastwise in ours neighbourhoods

children. We must not forget that our children are our future and we can

not cripple them and must take care of them.

VOCABULARY

From summary:

Advocacy gynimas, palaikymas

Anus išeinamoji/analinė anga

Assault užpuolimas, ataka, šturmas

Coerced (pri)versti, daryti spaudimą

Committed atsidavęs, pasiaukojęs

Counseling patarimas, konsultacija

To cripple (su)luošinti, (su)žaloti

To disrobe nu(si)rengti

Emergency kritiška, nenumatyta padėtis

Extend (pra)tęsti, pailginti

Flashback žvilgsnis į priekį

Fondle glostyti, glamonėti, myluoti

Forced priverstinis, prievartinis

Genital lytinis, lyties, genitalijos

Harsh šiurkštus, grubus, nemalonus

Immediate neatideliojamas, nedelsiamas

Intercourse bendravimas, lytiniai santykiai

Outburst protrūkis, prasiveržimas

Penetrating prasiskverbiantis, skarbus

Perform įvykdyti, atlikti

Rub trynimas, įtrynimas

Sibling brolis, sesuo

Substance medžiaga, esmė, pagrindas

Tricked apgauti, apsukti

Vagina makštis, vagina

From all text:

Advertise reklamuoti, skelbti

Assertively tvirtinančiai, atkakliai

Aware žinantis, informuotas,.

Bribe kyšis, ppapirkimas

Buttocks sėdmenys

Confrontational konfrontacinis

Consumer vartotojas

Contribute aukoti, duoti, prisidėti

Counseling patarimas, konsultacija

Disclosing atskleisti, demaskuoti

Empathic įsijaučiantis

Endure (iš,pa)kęsti, ištverti

Enforcement spaudimas, vertimas

Essential svarbus, būtinas

Excess perteklius

Exposure buvimas, neapsisaugojimas

Extent mastas, apimtis

Favor paslauga, malonė, palankumas

Foster auklėti, globoti

To harass užpuldinėti, trukdyti

Harassment priekabiavimas, varginimas

To hug apkabinti

Hunches nujautimas, įtarimas

Impact smūgis, susidūrimas

Inappropriate netinkamas, nnederamas

Indeed iš tikrųjų, žinoma

Intervene kištis, įsiterpti,.

Intimidation įgąsdinimas, įbauginimas

Marginally nežymiai, minimaliai

Molestation bandymas išžaginti, priekabiav

Obedience paklusimas, nuolankumas

Pat paplekšnojimas, tapšnojimas

Prosecution vykdymas, užsiėmimas

Reassurance patikinimas, garantavimas

Reduce (su)mažinti, silpninti

Referral perdavimas, persiuntimas

Refuse atsisakyti, atmesti, šiukšlės

Reinforce sustiprinti, sutvirtinti

Rejection atmetimas, nepriėmimas

Reluctant daromas nenoromis

Remedy ištaisyti, pataisyti

Scar randas, gilus pėdsakas

Seductiveness viliojantis, gundantis

Siblings broliai, seserys

Steadily nuolat, pastoviai

Stifle smaugti, dusinti

Subsequent paskesnis, tolimesnis

Subtle subtilus, švelnus

Suicidal savižudiškas, pražūtingas

Threat grasinti, gresti

Tickle kutenimas

To fend off atremti, apsiginti, atsikirsti

Toss metimas, blaškymasis

Trace susekti, atsekti

Trap spąstai, pinklės

Trustworthy vertas pasitikėjimo

Unaware nenujaučiantis, nežinantis

Unearned neužsitarnautas, nepelnytas

Withdrawal atitraukimas, atsiėmimas

LITERATURE:

• http://www.prevent-abuse-now.com/

• http://www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/sexabuse.htm

• http://www.jimhopper.com/memory/

• http://www.ncptsd.org/facts/specific/fs_child_sexual_abuse.html

• http://www.apa.org/releases/sexabuse/

• http://www.missingkids.com/cybertip/

• http://www.protectkids.com/abuse/

• http://nsi.org/Tips/sexabuse.htm

• Wounded Boys Heroic Men: A Man’s Guide to Recovering from Child Abuse

by Danial Jay Sonkin and Lenore E. A. Walker. (1998).

• The Courage to Heal: AA Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis. (1994).

• The Sexual Healing Journey : A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse

by Wendy Maltz (19 February, 2001).